This is a bit of a hard topic, but one that I feel the urge to visit. Diving right into it; do you have a deceased loved and cherished one? If so, what do you do on special occasions? Do you still celebrate certain memories or traditions? I lost my mom when I was only fifteen years old. I was very close to my mom; she was my best friend. As painful as it is, I make it a point to visit her bed site once a month. Usually during these visits, I will bring a flower arrangement or a knick knack that represents what is going on during that particular month, this being a birthday or a holiday. Everyone handles the loss of a loved one differently; visiting their grave site may not be for everyone, this is just something that I bring myself to do. On some occasions, I will celebrate my mom with my kiddos in a different way, rather than just leaving her flowers; saying “just,” I mean that lightly. There has been several times where we will buy an arrangement of balloons and let them go for her, other times we have gone on short trips and celebrated her with cupcakes or other treats, in prayers that she is joining us.

Once, my bif (aka best friend Rachel), her daughter, my kids, and of course myself made a visit to her site; my mom is buried at St. Michael’s Cemetery in Livermore Ca. During this visit we laid out a mini blanket, brought snacks and just hung out.

Rachel’s mom also passed away; she lost her mama to cancer just a few years ago. Her mom, Auntie Debbie, was cremated so visiting an actual site isn’t an option in this case. Rach get’s creative and tries to do something special every year for her mom’s birthday. Auntie Debbie’s first birthday without her, Rach made a trip down to the beach and scattered some of her ashes; Auntie Debbie loved the beach. Now after that, going forward, Rach has tried to make it a point to visit the beach every year for her mom’s birthday.

Unfortunately, this year with all of the chaos that we are witnessing in the world, Rach was not up for making the trip down to the beach. Instead, she bought a dozen of helium balloons. She brought them over here to my house and spent her mamas birthday with my family and I. We took a permanent marker and wrote little messages on separate balloons. After writing sweet words on the balloons, Rach and her daughter, Ava, let the balloons go outside. We all stood side by side as we watched the balloons float high up into the sky as they disappeared into the clouds. As hard as this day was for Rach, she surrounded herself around people that sincerely love and care for her. She made this day as special as she possibly could in celebration of her mom.

Death is a hard pill to swallow. Dealing with your loss later down the road isn’t any easier. There has been times where I have heard people tell me, “time heals everything, or that things will get easier.” I don’t know if that is necessarily accurate, the pain is very much still there; my heart mourns for my loss everyday. I feel that with time, we learn how to handle the pain differently,not meaning that the pain slowly goes away. I guess in a sense, time plays a huge a role in coping. None the less, hold onto your loved one. Don’t allow the memories that you hold slowly slip away. I understand completely, it’s hard!!!! Take things one step at a time, in a manner that you can handle. Find ways to keep those memories and that love alive. Even though your lost one isn’t physically here, no matter what your religious beliefs are, keep that person with you, within your heart!!